I’m not feeling well. Starting to feel hot, sick to my stomach. Shaky! Hard to breathe. On the verge of breaking down into uncontrollable sobs or bursting with uncontrollable anger. Both. Effecting my vision. I see blurriness. Can’t stop thinking about it. Tomorrow is a year to the day. The day I woke up and knew that was the day my life would end. This is overwhelming darkness. Pure evil and dread. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s the most terrible, sickening, terrifying feeling in the world. And it won’ stop. And I have no control over it. It will take me deeper and deeper until I completely…

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, the following post may be triggering. If you need support now, you can call or text the Suicide and Crisis Life Line 988. My anxiousness has been through the roof today. I could feel it peek it’s head in the morning as I sat in my office. Felt very much on edge. Felt very anxious. Shaking my leg up and down like a crazy excited dog. Couldn’t stop. Could barely notice I was doing it until I noticed I was making an annoying sound with my foot and thought to myself, what the hell is that? Damn, it’s me. Thought to myself, have I…